1. I am a specialist nurse and recently cared for a gentleman who thought it would be a good idea to place a firework up his bum and light it, he thought it would just spark and be funny (like on Jackass), little did he know it was a BANGER. Completely blew his bum to pieces. There was bits of anus, faeces and blood everywhere. So dont try this at home kids.
2. Cant really top number 1. I have a black labrador called Bradley.
3. Shopping in Harrods and saw Bruce Forsythe and was completely amazed at the size of his chin. Must take him an age to shave.