Pub Corrado talk

[Akinesis 0]

The saddest thing was his stories kept changing because he used to forget who we told what, and when. What a guy :lol:

 

I use to work with a compulsive liar! I have (and had) some friends who were the 'If you've got a black cat, then I have a black panther' type, which use to irritate the s*** out of me (unless you put them together, then it's hilarious :lol:), but nothing has ever compared to my old work buddy.

 

Firstly, the guy was dangerous. I'm an aircraft engineer, which is a job that requires quite a lot of care and attention in everything you do, which I'm sure you will all agree (£18 million aircraft with up to eight lives inside - and it's my name on the air-worthiness certificate!). So, how this guy got through to be at such a position was always beyond me, but, suffice it to say, he is no longer in the job!

 

Anyway, he, too, told so many lies that he forgot what he had and hadn't told, and how he told it. But it was constant BS stories. Constant! I even dragged him aside once and pleaded with him to stop with the lies because I was so sick of them. I thought it might be because he was a lot younger than most of us, and was trying to prove something. But I witnessed him lying to his family on the phone about stuff, so he was just a plain compulsive liar.

 

Here are two classics:

 

Me and this other guy were working on an aircraft moaning about work (as one does) and chatted about how nice it would be to win the lottery (as, I'm sure, everyone does). All completely tongue-in-cheek, we made a pact that if either of us won, we would help the other out. Anyway, this lad walks up to us and gets the gist of what we're talking about. The guy points out that you'll know who your true friends are when you come into big-bucks. This is true, and neither of us could argue with him about that. Then he went on to say that 'one of his mates' had won the lottery. Ok, this is possible, but unlikely. But he proceeded to tell us how his mate was a multi-millionaire now. Well, good for him. I asked him how much money he won, and the lad replied "fifty-thousand pounds". Hmmm, there is a big chunk of change missing between fifty-grand and several million. So when we asked him how he got several million from fifty-thousand, he replied "Oh, he left the fifty-grand in the bank and made it from the interest."

 

Our airfield had a Hawk that helped keep it free of other birds, and we were stood on the hard-standing watching this thing being trained by it's owner. We were talking (again, all tongue-in-cheek - and, yes, we talk a lot of crap at work) about how the relationship between the hawk and it's owner was probably a selfish one, in that the bird most likely only comes back because it know's it's gonna get fed. This lad was with us, and proceeded to tell us that 'his mate' had a crow, which was captured from the wild, and trained in the same fashion as the hawk we were watching. So, his mate wanders around everywhere with a crow on his arm, which flies away and comes back when it's called. Hmmm.

 

But the ultimate classic that makes him a legend:

 

The story goes that he and 'his mate' were walking back from school one day and were passing a field. In this field was a goat, and apparently the goat was giving his mate a 'dodgy eye'. His buddy was apparently unhappy at the way this goat was looking at him, so he leaped over the fence, charged at this goat and delivered a flying-kick in the billy-gruff's leg. This broke the poor goats leg, and no sooner had he committed this act of cruelty he felt sorry for what he had done to the animal. So, out of sympathy, he picked this goat up (must have been a small goat!) and carried it home where he cared for it. During the day, when 'his mate' was at school, he use to let the goat graze on the local round-a-bout (how the goat stayed on the round-a-bout without wandering off was a mystery to me. The bigger mystery is how the goat found it's way too and from the round-a-bout every day on it's own!). Anyway, when 'his mate' returned from school, he would find the goat loyally waiting for him at his garden gate (!). One fateful evening, however, when the goat was returning from the round-a-bout to meet his new master, the billy-gruff was struck by a car being driven by no other than 'his mate's' dad! Anyway, the car hit the goat with such an impact that it's horns got stuck in the front bumper of the car, killing the poor animal. And the father? Apparently he's now doing time for goat murder.

 

Sorry this is a long post, but I really wanted to share these stories with you guys. Even today, we reminisce of the legend that was this lad. I hope you enjoyed them.

 

Any ways, my missus has a TDCi Focus. I won't deny that it is a fantastic car but, as mentioned before, it's a VERY different car. I'd never double-take the Focus when I park it up, but always double or triple-take at the Corrado when I lock it up :grin: Every model of Corrado is sort-after and a classic, the only 'classic' that will become of the Focus is the RS or ST, not the other models! The guys a fruit-loop :cuckoo: If I drive the Focus, it's to get from A to B. If I drive the Corrado, I take the longest route possible a get a tingle of pride when I see people looking or making comments (comments are usually: "Nice!"). I had a motorbike pull up next to me as I was hurtling down the M3 the other week. He slowed down to drop along side me, looked at me, pointed at my car, gave me a big thumbs-up and then carried on. Would that ever happen to me if I was driving the Focus? No, it wouldn't. Ever.

[Ben-B 0]

Thanks for that Akinesis, I've just spent the last 5 minutes literally pissing myself with laughter.

 

On a side note, what airline/amo do you work for, and do you know if there's any graduate jobs going for someone who's just got a degree in "Aviation Technology"

[Akinesis 0]

I'm currently contracted to the Forces, fella. So unless you wanted a military career I don't think I would be much help at the moment :( I know they're not a great airline, but British Airways are good to work for in the engineering side of things. Virgin are are top-dogs, too! I'd avoid the smaller airlines like Easyjet and Ryan Air, though - not very 'nice' people to work for. Good luck with it all, though - it's a very rewarding career... and good money :norty:

[-=Kris=- 0]

I had a motorbike pull up next to me as I was hurtling down the M3 the other week. He slowed down to drop along side me, looked at me, pointed at my car, gave me a big thumbs-up and then carried on. Would that ever happen to me if I was driving the Focus? No, it wouldn't. Ever.

 

I had that the other day on the M3!!! what colour was the bike? this guy was on a yellow Hornet 900.... it put a huuuge smile on my face!

[Ben-B 0]

I'm currently contracted to the Forces, fella. So unless you wanted a military career I don't think I would be much help at the moment :( I know they're not a great airline, but British Airways are good to work for in the engineering side of things. Virgin are are top-dogs, too! I'd avoid the smaller airlines like Easyjet and Ryan Air, though - not very 'nice' people to work for. Good luck with it all, though - it's a very rewarding career... and good money :norty:

 

Ahhh no worries. I was gonna go the Forces route, had a date to start IOT as a pilot back in 2007, until they found out about my nut allergy :( The worst thing was, I'd passed OASC and the medical and not a hint of any issue at the time.

 

So the civil route it was and now I've finished uni, looking to get 1-2 years experience in Flight Ops before going through the commercial training, so that I've got something to distinguish myself above all the other newly qualified pilots, when I start to interview for an F/O position.

 

 

I wish it was good money for the kinds of jobs I've applied to so far... not even £20k (I think the average graduate starting salary is around £22k now) but then again, I would be right at the bottom of the ladder in the Ops department, for a job that isn't necessarily a graduate position

 

I'm not bothered how big an airline I work for as my first job, (or even my first flying job), but I do ultimately want to work my way up into a bigger company and do the whole long-haul route before I'm too old to enjoy it all :lol:

[Conker 0]

...So, his mate wanders around everywhere with a crow on his arm, which flies away and comes back when it's called. Hmmm...

 

 

For some reason this made me completely p!ss my pants.

:lol:

[Akinesis 0]

I had a motorbike pull up next to me as I was hurtling down the M3 the other week. He slowed down to drop along side me, looked at me, pointed at my car, gave me a big thumbs-up and then carried on. Would that ever happen to me if I was driving the Focus? No, it wouldn't. Ever.

 

I had that the other day on the M3!!! what colour was the bike? this guy was on a yellow Hornet 900.... it put a huuuge smile on my face!

 

To be honest I really can't remember! I was a bit startled at first, because I thought that I had cut him up or something and he was about to put his fist through my window. I don't think it was a Hornet, I think it was a GSXR (or something of that breed), but I really don't remember. However, I do recall he had a heavily tinted visor! But, yeah, I couldn't stop grinning for ages after that, either :grin: My brother was passed out in the passenger seat and missed the whole thing! We were coming back from Lydden Hill after volunteering to be my cousins pit-crew for the day. He won his race, due to his awesome team of mechanics headed by myself :norty:

 

Ben-B, I was supposed to be doing my pilots licence now, but cancelled it as I decided that I will emigrate to Australia. I'll pick it up again out there, so hopefully I'll see you in the skies at some point :D Both my cousins fly, but, like them, I want to do short-haul on small aircraft (no bigger than a Lear-Jet) as there is too much autopilot these days :bad-words:

 

This is getting close to a thread hi-jack :lol:

[Ben-B 0]

Ben-B, I was supposed to be doing my pilots licence now, but cancelled it as I decided that I will emigrate to Australia. I'll pick it up again out there, so hopefully I'll see you in the skies at some point :D Both my cousins fly, but, like them, I want to do short-haul on small aircraft (no bigger than a Lear-Jet) as there is too much autopilot these days :bad-words:

 

This is getting close to a thread hi-jack :lol:

 

Haha yeah we are going rather off-topic.

 

Australia is one place I've always wanted to emigrate to... shame you have to be an Aussie citizen to fly for Qantas, and that takes 5 years I think of living there before you can become a citizen by naturalization

[borders16v 0]

One hour for a matrix job MY A*SE ! Just finished doing it, took me hours,nightmare. And that was without taking out the dash. I bet he`d charge you 6 hours labour to do it minimum, 1hour yeh right :D

[mimjed 0]

this is why they took ash trays off the bar. cheers mate - smash.

[sprinterVR6 0]

this is why they took ash trays off the bar. cheers mate - smash.

 

exactly. of course the muppet would use the scars to peddle another lava flow of utter sh!te about how he took on three bouncers outside the China White, sent them running to the hills and then shagged every famous chick in the club....even the red haired yoke from Girls Aloud. Who was an animal in the sack and who's passport actually had, Name: 'The Ginger One'.

 

they're entertaining if nothing else.

 

On the Biker appreciatation bit - yeah, loads of love form the two wheeled warriors. Always let them through at lights etc.

 

As for Australia - I'm thinking leaving Australia and selling a Corrado are the exact same. You instantly reget the decision! It's an awesome place.

[A5 VRX 0]

Well off to the boozer tonight, he might be there sprouting all kinds off sh!t,

 

"yeah yeah just cooked a lasagne while dropping the gearbox on the Cortina while i was doing a bit of pointing on the roof, at the same time"