Family Rant

[mattnorgrove 0]

Andy, don't sink to her level.

 

It's exactly what she wants by the sound of it. She could use the scathing reply she deserves to her own advantage. Making you look like the very person she is depicting you to be.

 

Don't play into her hands.

 

As you say take the moral high ground.

 

Whatever will be will be might sound cliche, but at least you'll know you conducted yourself with dignity.

 

Hope this all sorts itself out for you, really can't imagine what this must feel like for you.

[diamondblack 0]

It

[Sonicriot13 0]

Andy,

 

Some people are saying that you should not sink to her level. They are right. But I also know that you would have a long way to fall before you got anywhere near that kind of level. You will find the right response and the right thing to do. Having spoken to you I know you are an articulate, measured human being. I certainly don't feel I could even attempt to give you any advise, I'll let more experienced people do that. But what I can do is say that whatever you decide is the best course of action I'd put money on the chances of it being the right course of action. The best way I can put it is this; if I was in your situation you are the kind of person I would want to have around supporting me.

[diamondblack 0]

Like I haven

[Andy665 0]

Thanks for the comments from everyone.

 

Decided to respond with the truth as I understand it.

 

Whilst my dad was in Clatterbridge receiving his radiotherapy treatment he confessed to me that he was frightened of his partner and that he wanted to come and live his final few weeks with myself and Sarah so that he could be at ease and actually enjoy being himself, unfortunately he did not live long enough tfor us to be able to turn it into a reality.

 

I have never told his partner about this as I did not see the point in upsetting her, I've now had a change of heart and decided to share this little piece of information with her. I certainly won't feel any pleasure from the upset that this may cause but I will feel a sense of satisfaction in making her feel some of the pain that I have felt since he passed away.

 

I finished my letter to her with these words:

 

"My one abiding regret is that my dad felt he could not tell me until very near the end how frightened and intimidated he was by you. I'm pleased that I have been able to tell you what he was too frightened too. At least now he can rest in peace and be free from fear of mental cruelty and intimidation. I will always be safe in the knowledge that I loved my dad unconditionally and always strived to make him feel happy and content - I sincerely hope that in the due course of time you can reconcile yourself with the fact that you could only ever aspire to treat him in the same manner".

[diamondblack 0]

Well, I think that's just as you should pitch it; the truth as you know it is enough. (Although you may be surprised to learn that you are not saying anything that the woman doesn't already know, deep down.) But still, sometimes it's definitely better to put a truth on record than leave it unsaid.

[Alexander 0]

Wow, this is absolutely terrible Andy. Hope you don't mind me pitching in my 2p;

 

You did the right thing by getting the copy of the will - if your dad really DID leave everything to this woman, fair enough - it was his wishes (at the time) and you can walk away with your dignity. As far as responding to her nasty letter, it's good you told her some home truths but don't get into a slagging match - as soon as you mailed that letter she's got hard evidence to back up anything bad she says about you to any third party, sounds like she's good at twisting things to her benefit.

 

Basically, find the truth out about the will, then walk away and never contact her again - people like her are vampires, she'll continue to suck the life out of you for as long as she can, and probably loves all this conflict and mud-slinging. Don't give her the satisfaction - keep your dignity and memories of your dad and stonewall her completely.