Does anyone else feel like rebooting their life?

[tentonhammer 10]

Right now I'm feeling like I just want to sell everything. I mean everything - house, cars, etc, and just start again in a different area and with much lower monthly costs so I can swap a hectic lifestyle for something with less stress and less responsibility.

 

You gotta do what you gotta do sometimes. Ok so you've got a wife and kids to think about but at the end of the day if they love you they'll follow you, especially if you make them realize the effects work is having on your health. You can still have a beautiful house, just buy a smaller one that will leave you guys financially better off. You can still live in good area, just do your home work before hand and move to a nice area. Once you have done this and you are able to reduce your monthly outgoings - only then can you look for a lower paid job with less responsibility etc.

 

The missus and I are in the same boat at the moment - I'm working my a*se off often doing 6-7 day weeks in a high pressure environment. The missus has been made redundant. We have a mortgage to pay, our mouths to feed (and dog). No other debts just bills and other necessary outgoings including horrendous car insurance costs (approx £1600 + running costs). Problem is our outgoings are more than my salary alone and to make matters worse the money runs out next month. In other words: We're royally f*cked and I wouldn't wish what we're going through on anybody.

 

As a result however, I'm looking to change my job because not only is the job incredibly stressful at times, but more importantly my salary alone won't support a family of 3 (me, missus, and dog) living in a small flat despite the fact I'm on a pretty good salary! The whole thing is mental. Material things have gotta go (maybe even my C, so be it). We have to sell the house before we default. Christmas is a right off, and we haven't been on holiday this year at all. Sorry times we're living in but what the hell can you do...

 

I guess what I'm trying to say is, a little perspective from time to time can help. Appreciate what you got, love the ones you love, and look at the positives.

[Portent 0]

I promised a reply so thank you for everyones comments. To answer a few questions and points, I am cerrtainly not too proud to make a change. Many years ago I found I wasn't happy doing something so took a much less stressful but more enjoyable job and got myself out of management. But over the years I've crept back up to a responsible managerial role again and a similar decision is harder because of the family and mortgage commitments I now have.

 

What do I do now? I run an IT support area looking after some of the trading applications for a large bank. The money is reasonable (no I don't get massive bonuses like the media say!) but the hours are ridiculous. For example many of us were working 15+ hours a day during the New York hurricane (we had to provide assistance from London as they were pretty much unavailable). Last Friday we had a big issue to fix and I was up at 6am, in the office for 8am as usualy but then ended up stuck there until 6am on Saturday... finally arriving home at 7:30am and ruining the weekend for everyone incljuding my family. This week has also seen frequent 12 to 14 hour days to fix issues. The pressure is constant - when someone makes a mistake costing hundreds of thousands of pounds then I've found myself having "interesting" conversations with people (one previous senior manager often called me up demanding someones kneck for a mistake - I'm pleased to say I didn't give their name out and that senior manager has now gone).

 

I'm extremely lucky though; a nice comfy office job and reasonable pay and I do understand the point that some professions work even longer and the consequencies can be fatal if they make a mistake. Like I said, I count my blessings, appreciate how lucky I am, and the opportunities I have both in and out of work.

 

I also mentioned I was ill last year and this is probably the catalyst for me looking at my kids and wanting to spend more time with them. It's all fixed now but I had a cancerous tumour removed last year, along with radiotherapy, and will have follow up consultaions for several years before being given the all clear (all looking good so far though).

 

So now to the future... I've decided I have to change things. I don't know exactly how yet and it certainly can't be overnight. But in a few years I will have downsized and change my job. Life is too short (and I've already had a life threatening scare). I'm not at home enough for my kids and they are growing up without seeing me, or me seeing them.

 

I will change things.

[Jim 2]

Sounds like the right decision from everything you've said.

 

All the other people I know who've worked in very stressful IT jobs (with those sorts of hours - being on call all night and then being expected to work the following day, for example) all end up with serious health and stress issues.. it's just not worth it.

 

Be sure to keep us updated with what you decide to do going forward :) It better not involve selling the Corrado ;)

[OSV 0]

Good on you, I think you are right. I'm now much less materialistic, I don't have much money spare after meeting all my commitments but what I have is now pretty much all paid for though notwithstanding a modest mortgage remaining despite putting most of my money into a comfortable family home. Have no loans. I do recognise that i dont enjoy stress or worrying about money so try no to covet things I dont need. I sadly parted with my Corrado due to not really having the time or money to spend on it. I have long since decided not to pursue career advancement in return for more stable working arrangements and i have now moved off shifts to regular days. A modest Volvo estate now serves my everyday purposes and I get to spend more time with my family and I am pretty content

[Portent 0]

Well ironically my company announced today 11,000 redundancies globally (no that figure isnt a typo). So I doubt I willbe working for them this time next year anyway :D

[Jim 2]

Guess they've got to keep the shareholders happy. And make sure the senior management get a 33% pay rise or whatever insanity it will be this year. The sooner more and more big corporations flop and crash and we go back to small, independent businesses, the better.

[Kevin Bacon 5]

Well ironically my company announced today 11,000 redundancies globally (no that figure isnt a typo). So I doubt I willbe working for them this time next year anyway :D

 

A good redundancy package is often a good way out. Take a few months off to reassess your life and then move on.

[KIPVW 0]

:( Good Luck

[Portent 0]

Cheer guys. I've only been here two years so the package won't be great. I probably won't know for a couple of months whether I'm at risk or not. I'm not going to dwell on it as I'm sure I'll be fine, or manage to get another job if I need to. But it does mean a sligthly more lean Christmas for the kids as I can't be spending too much with uncertainty hanging.

[Hofmiester 10]

I know many people have replied already but I saw this thread and it pretty much summed things up for me too.

 

I have a great life on paper, lovely kids, good wife, good job, prospects.....but I am working like a dog for it and not getting to enjoy it. When I was younger, had a lot less money, I was happier as I had more time for fun. The problem is that I can't scale back as i run a company and so I'l be letting my family and my employees down.

 

I think this is a normal situation for "middle class" men to be in. The only hope is that I can make enough money to buy my way out of this mess ;)

[C5 OEM 0]

Cheer guys. I've only been here two years so the package won't be great. I probably won't know for a couple of months whether I'm at risk or not. I'm not going to dwell on it as I'm sure I'll be fine, or manage to get another job if I need to. But it does mean a sligthly more lean Christmas for the kids as I can't be spending too much with uncertainty hanging.

 

sell the corrado then....to me...lol

[Portent 0]

sell the corrado then....to me...lol

 

:) No plans (yet) to sell it. But if the time comes then I would definitey prefer it to go to someone on the forum.

[Hofmiester 10]

:) No plans (yet) to sell it. But if the time comes then I would definitey prefer it to go to someone on the forum.

 

You'll be alright, just power through!

 

Although never do that when parking....my wife once "powered through" when she touched another car when parking......£0000s in damage ;)

[Portent 0]

Thread revival!

 

I thought it was time for a quick update due to the kind words offered before... well I survived the redundancy round in January and things were looking good as far as career prospects were concerned; I had become my managers deputy and was the natural successor. He was/is a truely fantastic guy and I loved working with everyone around me. But I wasn't happy and I couldn't really explain why to them. I sat down with my boss and told him I how I was feeling and he genuinely tried to change things for me. But as the most experienced person there, everyone always fell back on me for help and if I'm completely honest it's just in my nature to take on more and more work. If it's there, then I will do it. I'm not sure if it's a strength or a weakness.

 

So a few months ago I accepted an offer from a company that I'd previously worked for. Just before leaving I asked for voluntary redundancy but unfortunately it was declined. So after some consideration I decided to resign anyway and started there a couple of weeks ago. In recent years I have very much been of the mindset that taking a chance is always better than living a safe but unrewarding life - "take the red pill". You get one shot at life so make the most of it.

 

My new job is a smaller role than I had previously and in career terms it's probably going backwards around 8 years. Several friends and colleagues can't understand why I would do it. But so far the working hours are significantly less and the money is actually better (I told the new company what I would leave for and to my surprise they called my bluff). I have worked for this company before, albeit in a different area, and I think that helped as I was a known quantity to them. It's early days and I am under no illusions that it won't get busier. In fact I'm a little bored right now. After years of working furious hours it seems odd to be able to walk out of the office at a sensible time and go home to see my family with little expectation of getting called at home by Singapore at 4am. It will also take a little adjustment to get used to working for people with less experience than myself. That probably doesn't come across very well but what I mean is that some things that seem obvious to me don't to some others, and I don't want to be too rude in vocalising it - but bringing my experience to the table and being able to improve the area is the reason I was offered the role.

 

So things are looking up on the job front unless I find it too boring. If I do, then I'll change it again. But perhaps that's exactly what I need for a few years - to step away from the extreme pressure and then start building again.

Edited August 15, 2013 by Portent

[scarlet_vr6 0]

Well, from reading this and talking to you at No Rice, I think it sounds like a great decision. You sound genuinely happy about this new chapter. If some of your friends and colleagues think it's a strange move, then perhaps they don't understand your reasons for doing it well enough or maybe have different priorities? Salary increase aside, you've managed to give yourself more time (and presumably a job with significantly less pressure?) which allows you to enjoy everything outside work more. I'm sure even just the knowledge that you're unlikely to be woken by a work call at a ridiculous hour makes a big difference - I imagine it allows you to relax more, really unwind after work?

 

When it comes to big decisions like this, I always think that provided you've done some research, thought about likely outcomes and what the impacts may be, then you can't really regret the choice you make. Even if it doesn't work out the way you had hoped, then it doesn't matter because it was the best move at that time.

 

I took voluntary redundancy a few months ago. Lots of my friends and colleagues thought I was mad but I now feel refreshed and keen to get on with whatever is next for me. I absolutely hated my last job and the moment I left, I felt happier. Now I just have to work out what I want to do next. Struggling with that one a bit though...!

 

I read something the other day which amused me but perhaps a little too true...

 

Teenage = time + energy - money

Working age = energy + money - time

Old age = money + time - energy

 

Anyway, good luck with your new job/lifestyle, I hope it all goes according to plan! Also well done for doing something about it... sometimes that is the hardest bit!

[Kevin Bacon 5]

You can't put a price on quality of life.

 

I've seen too many career minded people age quicker than they should because they forgot about the basics in life. Good to see you're not making the same mistake!

[Billzeebub 1]

Good effort fella, it's the lifestyle that anyone with any perspective should be looking for. Good on you, sounds like you've really made it work for you too

[g0ldf1ng3r 14]

Ive not noticed this thread before but having now read through it in full i think we, as in the majority of us who use this forum, are blessed to have such kind & thoughtful members here!!

 

Lots of support, friendly sharing of experiences & a general understanding that everyone is different & that we all have our good times & bad.

 

Portent, its great that you are striving - & succeeding it seems - in making a happier life for yourself & your family!

 

I shared a similar experience with my old job last year & in the end i made the decision that i could pay my mortgage for 3-6 months & i quit. Fortunately i managed to find a new job by the end of the summer & it has made for a much happier me.

 

Change is scary, change is tough but change can be good but as many of us said.....happiness is key in life :D

[seanl82 23]

Congrats on your new job, and glad everything is working out for you!

Regarding being a little bored, don't let it make you crave a busier working environment.

Remember as you now have more time to yourself, this is the ideal opportunity to spend it with the wife and kids, or take up/concentrate a bit of time on a hobby. (Corrado!) Its what I did when I had surgery a few years back, and this is when I actually starting working on my own cars, and discovered my love for Corrados actually!

Best of luck with the new job, and don't fall into the same trap as before. Try to switch off at home, and start making plans for family time in advance if possible.:smug: