jpowell79 0 Posted October 3, 2013 hi guys.....looking for some advice and opinions, on how to deal with a situation. my girlfriend called phoned me last night to say she was scared. Basically she lives on her own, and has a scumbag next-door-neighbor. He's an unemployed druggie in his late 20's, who sits in his flat getting stoned with all his other scumbag mates. Anyway last night he was playing loud music till 1am, so my girlfriend called the council to report the noise. So the council officers turned up and apparantly the guy was shouting abouse at them and this guy was shouting out loud so that the entire estate could hear him, "who the f$$k complained?!! Tell me who f%$^%ing complained!!!", that's when she called me and said there's all noise and commotion outside. I told her to ignore it and get some sleep. I said he's probably just drunk and will sleep it off. Anyway she's just emailed me and said someone (obviously him or one of his mates) has scratched the word "grass" into her front door.......to say I am fuming about it is an understatement!! I stay at hers at weekends, so I said to he I'll knock on his door when I go down there tomorrow, but she's asking me not to as she said it could make things worse, especially as I'm not there every night, plus he's one of those guys who's already been in and out of prison, never had a job, has nothing to lose, etc, so maybe it wouldn't be a good idea? I dunno, I just don't know the best way to approach it.....I'm sitting here thinking to myself, "knock on his door, when he opens it just punch him straight in the face and kick his head in!", but then I could get arrested, plus him and his mates obviously know where she lives (right next door).......really not sure what to do. We're looking to get a place together in January, so maybe I'll just bide my time and wait till she's out of there? What would you do? Bearing in mind that threats of calling the police wouldn't bother him in the slightest.... Maybe I should just paint "C$%T" in big letters on his door, see how he likes it!! Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Jim Bowen 1 Posted October 3, 2013 I'd just report it again and never speak to him etc Let him get wound up about it and land himself in trouble. Maybe setup a video camera in your GF's Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
easypops 8 Posted October 3, 2013 No easy solution probably, best to keeps diary of all noise etc, keep complaining to relevant housing authority . Try and get other neighbours onside , the more complaints the quicker they can take action. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Jim Bowen 1 Posted October 3, 2013 or plant a gun in his house and ring the police about it Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
sexybourbon 0 Posted October 3, 2013 If you report it so many times a man will come round with a decibel monitor thing , measure hiw much of a penis he is being and then if he carrys on they have the power to take away anything that makes noise ie music players and ipod docks kind of thing Iv had to deal with my car being keyed without being able to do anything really as the guy who did it doesent have anything to lose , and he lives next door to my gf mother so i have to park the car there still when we visit , its just one of those things here you cant do alot about it , id deffo keep reporting it , if its a council house or flat id report him for vandalism and at least its not actually your door that you have paid for , if it was privetly owned id be kicking off Sounds like a bell end who need a good beating to me , its hust orobably best you dont do it for your gf benifit , hate reading **** like this there should be a pit for people like this so you can shoot them without making any more mess Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
bristolbaron 11 Posted October 3, 2013 need more info about where you/she currently live, why january etc.. personal view it get her out of there as soon as you can, to yours if poss, so you don't have to deal with it. the only thing worse than having a problem neighbour is a loved one having a problem neighbour.. you want to 'fix' it, but you'll cause bigger problems for nights you're not there. If the guy's sub human scum with friends who are worse, you really don't want to get involved. YOU BOTH HAVE MORE TO LOOSE THAN HE/THEY DO. It's only a difficult situation if you own the property, everything else is workable. The police will do nothing, the council will do nothing and you'll land yourself/her in it if you take it on yourself. Bide your time, get her out of there and if you feel the same once they have no idea where to find you, deal with it then. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
borachris 0 Posted October 3, 2013 As has been said it's difficult with you not being there most of the time, going against my gut feeling I'd say it's probably best to leave it for now and hope he forgets about it and doesn't do anything else. If he continues to intimidate/scare her then that's a different matter, if you can't get her out of the situation sooner than January then I think you are gonna have to deal with it! Whereabouts does she live roughly? Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
jpowell79 0 Posted October 3, 2013 yeah spoke to a few people at work about it as well.....everyone is saying not to go knocking on his door guns blazing as it will only escalate the situation. Our living situation is complicated. She lives in Northolt Middlesex and I live in Essex with the grandparents....I used to rent a flat, but they offered to let me stay with them for a year so that I could save for a deposit to buy somewhere... If needs be I can move in with the GF, but that's not ideal as I work in Essex, which would mean me doing an M25 round-trip to work every day which is not fun. She can't move in with me as she has two cats and my grandparents have a big dog that hates cats, and there's no way she'd give them up which is fair enough, plus the petrol costs of doing an M25 round-trip 5 days a week would also add up very quickly, so as of now I've just been staying at hers at weekends and going to work from my grandparents house (5 minute drive) during the weekdays. I have a bit of a deposit, and am just waiting for the details of this new government "help-to-buy" scheme that's launching on Monday, which would mean I could start looking for somewhere for us straight away...although even if I find somewhere tomorrow, I know it takes a couple of months to get everything sorted out. I think I'll just sit and wait patiently until she moves out....they do say revenge is a dish best served cold! Have calmed down a bit now....but now I'm gonna get fired up again as soon as I get to hers tomorrow evening and see that on her door! Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
vornwend 0 Posted October 3, 2013 Tend to agree with the majority here and say be careful that you don't make it worse. Could you take some holiday and stay there for a few week days and make yourself as visible as possible? and/or spend one or 2 nights a week there, so there is an element of doubt in their minds about whether or not you are there on a particular night. Maybe the Police won't be interested but I still think its worth a chat with them - they could include the area on a round (do they still do those?) and if there was noise etc they could intervene directly? Hope you can get it sorted quickly Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Hofmiester 10 Posted October 3, 2013 It depends on how much risk of violence you can take really. When I was 25.....I would have got a group of pals together and kicked his teeth down his neck, I had nothing to lose other than getting a beating in return and knowing some of my pals back then, that was unlikely to happen... but 10 years later and 2 kids, I can't take risks like that. If you think you can handle him then you only get one shot at putting him in his place so you need to make sure he is properly scared. Otherwise let the police/council deal with him, which is what I would do. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
vornwend 0 Posted October 3, 2013 It depends on how much risk of violence you can take really. When I was 25.....I would have got a group of pals together and kicked his teeth down his neck, I had nothing to lose other than getting a beating in return and knowing some of my pals back then, that was unlikely to happen... but 10 years later and 2 kids, I can't take risks like that. If you think you can handle him then you only get one shot at putting him in his place so you need to make sure he is properly scared. Otherwise let the police/council deal with him, which is what I would do. ^ Agreed. I can sympathise with wanting to take direct action but its far too much risk in my opinion. You might be able to scare the hell out of him but it would escalate it to a whole new level with absolutely no guarantee that he or his mates wouldn't do something worse when you're not there or when he gets stoned. At the moment its unpleasant and worrying but it could become really scary if you charge in. The biggest problem is that you cannot be there 100% of the time. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
DiamondTony 10 Posted October 3, 2013 I always act without thinking, which lands me in trouble a lot of the time... So it's good that you're thinking about this rationally mate. It's proper horrible when stuff like this happens, I've been there with a few ex's and now my current gf. If it were me, I like comics etc - and the idea of superheroes lol - I'd basically rent a Batman suit or something and hire a ragtag band of merry men and sort him out! But seriously mate, if you can get on it with the help-to-buy scheme that's your best bet :) Share this post Link to post Share on other sites