Kevin Bacon 5 Posted August 8, 2014 ....and other Friday afternoon whacky "Do it Yourself" body maintenance jobs. Let's hear your ideas. The cheaper and crazier, the better. I'll start. Why do folk pay £1000 for a professional tooth whitening service when you can just get a tub of tooth polish paste off Amazon for a tenner, borrow someone's dremel and and get polishing?!? Skin tags and other dangly unwanted skin things. So shifting these is no classed as "Cosmetic" under the NHS, and therefore you have pay private. £175 for 5 mins work with a medical grade soldering iron basically. So why not burn them off with an actual soldering iron? Way cheaper! Cutting hair. Why pay some surly teenager £25 for running clippers over your head when you can buy said clippers from Tesco for £20 and do it yourself? No need to faff about getting to the hairdressers, just do it at home at your leisure. Podiatrist. Why waste your time with these people. Simply fill your shoes with liquid silicon, place a bag over it, stick your foot in to form the mould, leave to set. Done! Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
DriverVR6 11 Posted August 8, 2014 DIY Home Vasectomy. Why bother wasting your time going to the GP then waiting for ages for a hospital appointment when you can do it yourself. Crouch over a vice and place your testicles in between the vice jaws. Then grit your teeth and hold your breath as you tighten the vice. Then sooth the testicles in some ice to reduce the inflammation. Job done. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
VAG-hag 0 Posted August 8, 2014 Save money on the expensive soldering iron and use a McDonalds apple pie..... Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Kevin Bacon 5 Posted August 8, 2014 Nice ideas guys! I'm sure most men could cope with a home birth too. Why risk getting a speeding fine or wasting an ambulance's time? And here's a tip for the girls: why waste time and money plucking all your eyebrows out, then drawing or tattooing them back on? Simply stop pulling them out in the first place. Simple! Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
DriverVR6 11 Posted August 8, 2014 DIY Eye Sight Test Why waste your time going to the opticians and paying them your hard earned cash when you can do it yourself. Get a white sheet of A4 paper and using a black marker pen write your name in block capitals on the paper. Stick this sheet of paper with your name onto a wall using some blue tack. Stand 5 metres away and read out aloud the letters of your name. If you can read the letters of your name then your eye sight is fine and no further action is required. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
DriverVR6 11 Posted August 8, 2014 DIY Fake Tanning Lotion Why waste your money on expensive fake tanning lotion when you can make your own. Simply go to a DIY Superstore and buy their value or "on offer" fence creosote. It is long lasting, cheap, easy to apply and available in many shades. It's even available in green colour. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
sexybourbon 0 Posted August 8, 2014 Tie a piece of cotton round your skin tags and leave them to fall off , not that im full of them like My bosses wife had her eyebrows tattoed on she looks like a fuking freak of nature a bit like marylin manson Tattooing , why pay 25 quid an hour when you can get your mates to do it for free while you get ****ed up !! Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
sexybourbon 0 Posted August 8, 2014 [ATTACH]79411[/ATTACH] Like this mustash !!! Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Dox 23 Posted August 8, 2014 Colonic irrigation Get yourself a funnel and redirect the waste from the dishwasher to get a squeaky clean colon....... Depending on how far away the toilet is from the dishwaher you may need a bucket too Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
James. 9 Posted August 8, 2014 Gleaned from the hallowed "Top Tips" pages of Viz: WORRIED that your teeth will be stained after a heavy night drinking red wine? Drink a bottle of white wine before going to bed, to remove the stains. LOSE weight quickly by eating raw pork or rancid tuna. I found that the subsequent food poisoning/diarrhea enabled me to lose 12 pounds in only 2 days. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
VAG-hag 0 Posted August 8, 2014 Stamps make great patriotic posters for mouse homes Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Swompy 0 Posted August 8, 2014 Another one for skin tags- just use a pair of nail clippers!!! Why waste time cleaning the dishes put them on the floor and let the dog do the hard work for you Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Kevin Bacon 5 Posted August 15, 2014 Another one for skin tags- just use a pair of nail clippers!!! Good idea! And the cotton trick :) Luckily I've never needed any fillings or braces, but should the need arise, I'm sure a dab of chemical metal will do a good job. Sod paying Dentist prices! Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
sexybourbon 0 Posted August 15, 2014 That needs to be your new forum picture if you can deal with parting with kevin bacon Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Kevin Bacon 5 Posted August 15, 2014 We need VR6 to graft the Bacon's nose onto Jaws's face first :lol: Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
g0ldf1ng3r 15 Posted August 15, 2014 We need VR6 to graft the Bacon's nose onto Jaws's face first :lol: WInner!! now that really would be a very funny profile pic m8 PMSL Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Kevin Bacon 5 Posted August 15, 2014 Would it do it myself but I am worse than useless with Photoshop. Jim? ;) Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
sexybourbon 0 Posted August 15, 2014 Vr6 would of had that done and live lol Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Jim 2 Posted August 15, 2014 I know it may surprise you but I don't read every single thread, and I do actually go out sometimes ;) But leave it with me... Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Jim 2 Posted August 15, 2014 Trying to Photoshop using a laptop trackpad is a nightmare.. but here's a temporary one.. will do something a little better over the weekend :) Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
clumpy1 11 Posted August 15, 2014 That is pretty bad Jim though rather humorous ;) By the way I couldn't do any better so don't try passing it on to me :thumbleft: Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Jim 2 Posted August 15, 2014 As I say, you try using Photoshop with a laptop trackpad... it's nigh on impossible! I'm far more able with a mouse! Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
clumpy1 11 Posted August 15, 2014 As I say, you try using Photoshop with a laptop trackpad... it's nigh on impossible! I'm far more able with a mouse! The fact you need a mouse to be able is a little out of my comfort zone mate but hey each to his own whatever turn's you on bud :thumbleft: Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
