idiots on eBay

[PhatVR6 0]

Found some BBS CH's on eBay last week. £510 start, buy it now for £620. Advert said they were off a VW Golf, and brand new (meaning they were £320 each!!).

 

I emailed him to see what offset they were, and to ask if he could confirm that they were 5x100 pitch, and definitely VW fitment with a 57.1mm bore size. He replied and said yes, definitely, VW 5x100 as he'd had them on his golf and ET30 (perfect!!). The only reason he was selling them was because he'd had them on his golf, but when he had people in the back the tyres were rubbing so he took them off after a week.

 

Anyway, I emailed him back and said I was VERY interested, but I couldn't hit his buy it now as it required immediate payment as I wanted to pick them up the next day and the payment wouldn't have cleared in time (and also because I wanted to see the wheels before paying for them). So I put a £550 bid on to prove I wasn't wasting his time and asked him to end the auction there and then to secure the sale. I then went out on the lash, when I got back he'd ended the auction and mailed me his details and number and everything.

 

So Saturday, after lunch, I headed off for London. 3 hours later I was on the M25 (not bad going), an hour after that and I was in Dartford, and heading up some really dodgy looking narrow back lane on the way to his work place. I was half an hour earlier than expected, so I rang the guy and he came out to meet me. Scruffy looking young lad, about 18 years old (I thought, how the f*ck can he afford £1300's worth of BBS's, let alone a golf?). I could also hear shotguns going off!! He said "they are in my car" and sure enough they were....but it was a Toyota Yaris?!? At this stage I was getting a bit worried about things. But, he got one of them out and I was just blown away, they were utterly spotless, brand new clean, not a hint of dirt of grease of anything on them anywhere, not even on the mounting surface (bizarrely). I had a quick scan over them, found a tiny dint on one of them, nothing to worry about. So I paid the man and took em over to my car (I had a load of sh1t to sort out in the boot).

 

Got em all in the car, then noticed that it said ET35 on the rim. "ar5e" I thought, he told me ET30, I'll need spacers now, tw4t. So i decided to have a closer look at them before I left. Now, I have had many many sets of wheels, and I know what 5x100 looks like. I was studying these and thought "that centre cap looks too big" I flipped them over and thought again "that bore size looks too big" and "they don't look like 5x100 either". I hesitated a while and decided what to do, then called the lad back and asked him to come over, and bring a tape measure with him, which he did.

 

him "What's up mate? the are mint wheels? is there a problem?"

 

me "yes, they are mint, but they don't look like VW fitment to me, I want to double check"

 

hands me tape measure, I put my thumb at the 100mm mark and hold it up against the bolt holes. sure enough, the bolts are further apart.....

 

me (not p1ssed off) "I specifically asked you to check if they were 5x100 fitment, you said they were, but they're clearly 5x112, which is audi fitment???!!"

 

him "when did you ask that?"

 

me "I emailed you and asked you to check they were 5x100 and asked what the offset was. you told me they were definitely 5x100 and ET30, but they are 5x112 and ET35"

 

him "which email address was that? the tank computers one?"

 

me "yes"

 

him "ahh, that wasn't me"

 

me "eh?"

 

him "they aren't my wheels"

 

me (in my head) "oh for f*cks sake....." (roll eyes)

 

me "so who's are they?"

 

him "I'll go get him"

 

waits 2 mins for him to return to the clubhouse and come back with an older guy"

 

old guy"whats up mate?"

 

me, offering up the tape measure again "I was told they were 5x100 VW fitment, they aren't, they are 5x112 audi fitment"

 

old guy "what vw have you got? I had em on me bora?"

 

me "corrado vr6, same fitment as bora, he told me he had them on his golf?"

 

old guy "well, you know modern cars these days, they mix and match all sorts of parts these days, you never know what you've got"

 

me "they have not been on a bora, there's no way they'd fit. the only VW they'll fit is a new passat, as it's actually an audi a6, or a new mk5 golf, and they haven't done a mk5 bora yet"

 

I gave them the "you're a f*cking big liar, work you way out of that one" stare....all of them gave me totally blank stares back

 

It was at this point that I realised the predicament of the situation. Not only had I just paid the man £550 for a set of wheels that didn't fit, but I was in the east end of london, within spitting distance of the thames, and I was at a clay pigoen shooting club.....so they all had shotguns, and I was arguing with them......

 

I decided to alter my tone a litte....

 

me "well, althought they are fantastic wheels, and in mint condition, they are of no use to me at all as they won't fit my car."

 

them "can't you make them fit?"

 

me "only if I sell my car and buy an audi..............I'm going to have to ask for my money back, they are not what you said they were."

 

he walked off to go get me my money, I had visions of him coming back and sticking a shotgun up my nostrils! luckily, he didn't, he gave me the cash and took the wheels back and I left empty handed and gutted. the d1ck even had the cheek to try and shake my hand when he gave me the money back as if we'd just completed a deal!

[VR6 0]

............them "can't you make them fit?"

 

me "only if I sell my car and buy an audi

 

Quality

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

:lol:

[PhatVR6 0]

actually, I probably could have made them fit with adapters now I think about it. at the time I just wanted my money back. gutted.

[VR6 0]

Think the RH that I have are originally 5x112......

[chrishill 0]

I was in the east end of london, within spitting distance of the thames, and I was at a clay pigoen shooting club.....so they all had shotguns, and I was arguing with them......

 

If thats not the opening line to Phat's autobiography theres no justice! unfortunate incident finely crafted into an entertaining story :)

[M15 VW 0]

thats really bad mate, what an arse :(

[gibber 0]

I would of just shot ya!

[PhatVR6 0]

I was in the east end of london, within spitting distance of the thames, and I was at a clay pigoen shooting club.....so they all had shotguns, and I was arguing with them......

 

If thats not the opening line to Phat's autobiography theres no justice! unfortunate incident finely crafted into an entertaining story :)

 

LOL! yes, it does have a bit of a Dave Courtney ring to it I guess.

[gradeAfailure 0]

Phat, you are a veritable modern-day Aesop...! Great storytelling... :lol:

 

Congrats on getting away without being :2gunfire: as well - one of my exes used to live in Dartford and most of it is pikey as hell!

[stevemac 0]

Unfortunate waste of a long journey .. :(

 

Paul - you ever thought of writing a book ?

[Andy Brookes 0]

Great write up, pisser of a drive for nothing though.

[PhatVR6 0]

Can you tell I get bored at work?

 

Dunno what you mean about my writing style, that's just how I speak!?

 

I need a website...like that Maddox bloke.

[M777CUSGTI 0]

York to Dartford to be messed about, christ, what a waste of time :!:

 

Some people :roll:

 

Quality you didnt shake his hand tho fat, what a prick! :lol:

[chrishill 0]

http://www.blogger.com ;)

[crazymarcel 0]

Great Story

 

You think they would check which car they stole the wheels off :?

[dinkus 10]

Ah good story, but shame about the wheels.

 

You should have bought them anyway and flogged them on for twice the price :D

[Supercharged 2]

LOL - great stuff!

 

Thats the trouble tho with wheels and muppets on eBay...

 

I'm keeping an eye out at the moment but no one puts ALL the fitment details up on the adverts and i'm not prepared to shell out 500 notes for wheels that 'might' fit!

[GIXXERUK 0]

lucky to get your money back really , waste of a day and a lot of petrol tho

 

losers ....