Astra Vs Kerbstone Error

[Toad 0]

Just a quick story.....

 

Was out with a mate last night, having a look for foxes (bushy tailed variety) round his farm when my sister (also my mates girlfriend) rang to say there were a couple of cars outside thier house and a bit of shouting and general excited voices coming from them, we'd pretty much finished anyway, so pootled back over on the quad to see what was going on. Apparently they heard us coming and assumed they were in for a bit of bother to the extent that one went and hid in the car. When we pulled up, we realised that they were all about 12 years old, and probably wanted to be in blazin squad.

 

The nipper in the first car, a body kitted 2.0 turbo astra (bout a W plate) must've had a bit of pace on and his head up his arse because he went straight over a lump of kerbstone that had fallen off another vehicle. it was only about 5" cube, but it had managed to destroy both front and rear alloys on the passenger side of the car, I thought he meant it'd bent the rim, but it'd actually beaten a hole through the centre of the front alloy, through the tyre, you'd fit your fist in the dent into the wheel and probably stick a couple of fingers thhrough the hole!!!! I wouln't have been surprised if it had clouted the brake caliper, it intruded that far!

 

I'd never have believed that it would do that much damage if i'd not seen it myself.

 

Luckily, his other chav mate, Mc Chicken Sandwich, or whatever his name was, also had an astra so they had a pair of spare wheels between them. If it had been earlier, and I could've been bothered to listen to all the "innits" and "you get me's" i'd have had a closer look, but his suspension must've had a hell of a battering too.

 

I can only assume that the lowered suspension and low profile tyres only added to the damage that was caused, perhaps a softer sprung car would've ridden over the stone a bit better?

 

Anyway, fair credit to the lad for hanging onto the car and not shoving it into a hedge after loosing both wheels.

[Critical_Mass 10]

lump of kerbstone that had fallen off another vehicle

?????

 

Am i being dumb?

[Phil K 0]

Critical_Mass, I just re-read that bit too... must be a Winchester thing :?

 

Damn blazin squad inits!

[Supercharged 2]

LOL! - well written Mr Toad...

[ZippyVR6 0]

Ha Ha Ha, Nice one Tom. Probably what happens when cheap alloy wheels meet big bricks.

[Critical_Mass 10]

Hmmm glad i wasnt the only one.

 

Who you say it was... the Flinstones, rock coming off a car :scratch: the wheels werent rock then? :lol: Did they have UV lighs under neef?

[Kevin Bacon 5]

Ha Ha Ha, Nice one Tom. Probably what happens when cheap alloy wheels meet big bricks.

 

Just what I was going to say, cheap old Halfords rims :lol:

 

Kerbstone - fell off the lorry laying them perhaps? :lol:

[Toad 0]

Might need to work on my wording of things a little better.....

 

It was a broken bit of an old kerbstone.

 

I guess someone had been removing rubble from a site, or a skip lorry had rattled through, and various bits of cack had fallen off, there were a few bits of old pallet leading up to the kerbstone, and other smaller bits of rubble.

 

I made sure I only pootled home after that, didn't fancy seeing what rubble would do to a seebring at pace, funny thing is it was only half a mile from where I had my first ever blow out on the Maestro of love (turbo diesel).

[Toad 0]

Ha Ha Ha, Nice one Tom. Probably what happens when cheap alloy wheels meet big bricks.

 

Just what I was going to say, cheap old Halfords rims :lol:

 

I think they might have been OE Vauxhall alloys, about 17"s with Vauxhall badges on (ok I know that isn't exactly conclusive)

[davidwort 0]

Might need to work on my wording of things a little better.....

 

It was a broken bit of an old kerbstone.

 

I guess someone had been removing rubble from a site, or a skip lorry had rattled through, and various bits of cack had fallen off, there were a few bits of old pallet leading up to the kerbstone, and other smaller bits of rubble.

 

I made sure I only pootled home after that, didn't fancy seeing what rubble would do to a seebring at pace, funny thing is it was only half a mile from where I had my first ever blow out on the Maestro of love (turbo diesel).

 

I read somewhere once about the amount of stuff that falls off vehicles each year onto UK roads, it was something stupid like several hundred thousand tonnes and I don't mean fallen off the back of a lorry

 

That reminds me, a family friend up nr Inverness is lucky to be alive, a scaffold pole fell off a lorry and went through his windscreen and impaled itself into the (fortunately empty) passenger seat :shock:

[jazzdevil 0]

given that the village my parents live in has become a bit of an Astra-chav speedway of recent and taking into account the above story... would it be evil if i popped round there and 'placed' a kerbstone in the middle of the road tonight??? :twisted:

[chrishill 0]

were the wheels anything like these ones?

 

 

I had an Ashtray for a while, quite proud of it I was too - my first 'own' car. I ended up wrecking it in less that spectacular fashion with the use of a kerb, a 5ft steel barrier, wet road, tight bend and heavy right foot.

 

Anyway what was my point? oh yes! the kerb munched my wheels in half aswell, those alloys were a bit soft really.

[Henny 0]

jazzdevil, yes, it would... Think how you'd feel locked up in jail after some poor sod on a motorbike hit it and ended up getting seriously hurt... :(

 

I can sympathise about the chav-speedway thing (where I used to live was like that, especially as the pub I lived opposite became Chav-Central so the muppets used to blat past it as fast as their 1.1 engines would push their fibreglass monstrosities) but there are legitimate road users who could also get hurt by things like that... Better to get a flourecent jacket and a waterpistol/gun shaped thing and jump out from behind a bush as they come towards you aiming it at them a-la speed trap styleee... ;) :lol: Do that a couple of times to random chav cars and watch the average speed past that point plummet! ;) :lol: :twisted:

[chrishill 0]

waterpistol/gun shaped thing

 

:? if someone jumped out of a bush waving a replica AK47 at me while I was driving I may well try and mow them down! (knew what you meant, just got a funny mental image ;))

[Henny 0]

:lol: reckon that'd work as a defence for speeding?

 

"Well, your honour, I saw this bloke with a gun jump out in front of me so I ducked down low in the car and ended up running him over.... How was I supposed to know it was a speed gun and he was a police man??!"

 

:lol:

[jazzdevil 0]

Better to get a flourecent jacket and a waterpistol/gun shaped thing and jump out from behind a bush as they come towards you aiming it at them a-la speed trap styleee...

 

...see now that was the logic i used when i was about 14, which resulted in the target (who happened to be a local in the army) pursuing me down the street and giving me a pop on the chin :)

 

other options:

 

i) hairdryer-as-speedgun

ii) grey and yellow painted cardboard box on the pole that used to have a 30mph sign (before being knocked off by the dustmen)

iii) trip wire a la 'The Great Escape'

iv) jungle-style mantrap with sharpened bamboo spikes or permanent roadworks with a 6ft deep pit...

[Henny 0]

I like those options, although I feel that 4 has entertainment potential and should at least have a webcam pointing at it at all times... ;) :lol:

[mattnorgrove 0]

Toad, quality story, same where i live (only corsa's)

 

Sounds like it couldn't have happened to a nicer bunch!! :wink: