yacobwood

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Soooo 1058 years :D

A mate of mine recently admitted to being addicted to brake fluid. When I quizzed him on it he reckoned he could stop any time..... I had a mate who was suicidal. He was really depressed, so I pushed him in front of a train. He was chuffed to bits. I was at a cashpoint yesterday when a little old lady asked if I could check her balance. Not being one to disappoint I pushed the old dear over. A new middle east crisis erupted last night as Dubai Television was refused permission to broadcast 'The Flintstones'. A spokesman for the channel said.... 'A claim was made that people in Dubai would not understand the humour, but we know for a fact that people in Abu Dhabi Do.' My son's been asking me for a pet spider for his birthday, so I went to our local pet shop and they were £70!!! B*ll*cks to this, I thought, I can get one cheaper off the web. Statistically, 6 out of 7 dwarves are not happy. My wife was hinting about what she wanted for our upcoming anniversary. She said, 'I want something shiny that goes from 0 to 150 in about 3 seconds.' I bought her a scale. Went around to a friends house today. His wife was sat there with their newborn baby. She asked if I'd like to wind it.... I thought that was a bit harsh so I gave it a dead leg instead. I got some new aftershave today that smells like breadcrumbs. The birds love it! Husband says to wife 'My Olympic condoms have arrived - I think I'll wear gold tonight'. Wife says, 'Why don't you wear silver and come second for a change'. The lead actor in the local pantomime, Aladdin, was sexually abused from behind on stage last night. To be fair the audience did try to warn him.

That's one long driveway you have :D

http://www.pistonheads.com/sales/2560059.htm

Black C in Little Haywood of all places. Was that surprised to see one there I only got the colour :( o and a wave )

This is now sold so will not be reposted in the classifieds

No problems. It hasn't got a supercharger atm lol. Good luck with the build :)

Why did the girl fall off her bike?? Because someone threw a fridge at her When hitler lost the war, he did nazi that coming!?

I have removed this from the classifieds section atm due to me sending off to dvla to get the original plates back on (about 4 weeks). Will be reposted when sorted

Don't you just click; Classifieds > My Classifieds > In the action combo box select 'Delete Ad'?

What's the definition of making love? Its what a women does while a man's nailing her..

5 miles from Stafford

I have this car in the classifieds section but due to my internet being cack, the photos did not upload. Anyway, here is my 8V and if you like, have a mosey on over to the sale page :)

And get the description right. It fits an 8v too!! :D

Do you think Black Circles do 36" tyres? =/

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Just thought i would mention it, not sure if its browser related or anything (Firefox V3.5.3) In the thread titled 'Joke thread', there are reportedly 6 pages to view with 51 posts. But when you click 'last page' or 'page 6', it takes you to page 5 and displays the message 'posts 41-50'. Page six cannot be viewed and also post 51 cannot be viewed. (reporting defects, wish i got paid for that.....o wait, i do :D)

Thought this was going to be a Cilla black thread lol. I opened with caution =/

I havent opened the thread in days so that cant be it =/

Cant beat Evil Dead 3. Clatto Verata N... Necktie... Neckturn... Nickel... It's an "N" word, it's definitely an "N" word! Clatto... Verata... N- [coughs] [pause] Okay... that's it! :D

The mrs has just come into the living room wearing a little pvc number, fishnets and high heels, has handed me a cold beer and told me to sit down, relax, and when she comes back she'll give me 'what she does best'. I cant wait. I fvckin love Sheperd's pie!

In my subscribed threads, threads are being shown as no new posts even tho there are new ones =/

Husband watching tv when fat wife comes into him and says, 'I just fell down the stairs, didn't you hear me'?. Husband says, 'Sorry luv, i thought it was the start of Eastenders'.

Just got overtaken by a bloke in an AA van. He was talking to himself and crying. I thought to myself, he's heading for a breakdown.