Possible winner for funniest read of the month

[randal 0]

http://www.vxronline.co.uk/messageboard ... .php?t=714

 

Includes such winners as:

 

"The car is always clean improving aerodynamic progress"

 

"I agree with your point, but the car is a little quicker than the standard SXi and so I felt the SRi badges were appropriate."

 

"The tyres are always inflated to 38 PSI to give extra grip and less tyre slouch."

 

:lol:

[Blue_Joe 0]

And the classic.....

 

"Often I put the rear seats flat, this reduces weight."

 

LMFAO!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[dinkus 10]

Bwaahahahahhah what a load of complete and utter tosh :lol:

[Phil K 0]

oh dear :roll:

 

and... what were you doing to come accross this :lol:

[CorradoVR6-Turbo 0]

randal, The question is what were you doing on the vauxhall site? Hmm...lol :lol:

 

Rear seat thing....jeez!!!

 

edit Phil K beat me to it !!

[randal 0]

I was forwarded the link by a mate honest mush! OK, so my recent car choice hasn't been exactly... "zehr gut" but c'mon! :lol:

[mrbeige 0]

PMSL :lol::lol:

[gaz the geezer 0]

QUOTE The rear seat thing, It is rare that I fold them down, but it has to be said that when folded they remove a bit of weight. Vertical seats exert more downward force because the energy is focused on a smaller surface area. When horizontal, the weight is spread and so is less per Centimetre squared. QUOTE

 

 

:lol: what a total t*sser , sounds like a right old `roy cropper` with his satchell way up high ........ :lol: :cuckoo:

[gradeAfailure 0]

oh, so funny... :lol:

[Supercharged 2]

Jesus - the worrying thing is this guy probably is a Police Driver!

[veeDuB_Rado 0]

Read this on BB :lol:

 

He can't be serious!

[Jim 1]

lol - that was an entertaining read! :D

[chrishill 0]

my god... theres so many things wrong with that I dunno where to start!

 

*p!sstake overload*

 

sorry about the 'jesticular' manner of my reply :lol:

[HiAsAKite 0]

oh dear...what a por misguided soul this one is....

 

 

The rear seats one cracked me up the most..

[gaz the geezer 0]

...... imagine having to be stuck behind a counter in a shop when that tw*t brought something back .......... you wouldnt know whether to laugh , punch or look for the hidden camera :rabiit:

[scarlett 0]

fcuking hilarious....!

 

i had a corsa sxi for a while - complete piece of schit tbh.... 25mpg and was beaten by old ladies in nissan bluebirds on a regular basis... my only pleasure in it was kerbing the alloys to hell by using them to find where the kerb was while parking - gave it back and bought a cherokee.... :)

[dinkus 10]

I'd love to get another Corsa...just to see exactly how fast you can ram it into solid objects before it falls apart :lol:

[STORM 2 0]

Hilarious indeed - why did the Mods lock it as soon as he started to cry? It could have been a much lengthier piece of class entertainment

 

The weight thing is pure class - this guy could make millions with his weight disappearing act - NASA has already been on the phone looking for the man.

 

What a prize TW4T!! - lets try and get him onto this forum and come up with some more voodoo physics.....yum yum

[_Monkey 0]

... my only pleasure in it was kerbing the alloys to hell by using them to find where the kerb was while parking... :)

 

LMFAO!!!

:lol::lol::lol::lol:

[randal 0]

Jesus - the worrying thing is this guy probably is a Police Driver!

 

Yup he's 5-0 :roll:

[gaz the geezer 0]

Interests: Driving, Music, Cooking, Animals, Cycling. Oh and my favourite, blagging test drives in Performance Cars and Supercars.

 

 

.......... nah, he`s full of crapola mate, sounds more like a wish list of things he`d like to do if he had a life :albino: , he is so damn sensitive that the `boys` hanging around shops at night would have him in tears in minutes :lol:

[Guest]

I agree with your point, but the car is a little quicker than the standard SXi and so I felt the SRi badges were appropriate. It only carries 1 person, Me. It has no extra weight in the car, all glove compartments, cubby holes and the boot is empty. The rear exhaust may or may not add power. It has only ever run on Optimax, I know you get more boost out if this fuel on bigger engined cars but every little helps. The tyres are always inflated to 38 PSI to give extra grip and less tyre slouch. Often I put the rear seats flat, this reduces weight. (Like why you crawl flat across a frozen pond so as not to break the ice). I regularly drive with around £10 of fuel, again weight saving, and often I use engine cleaner in the fuel load to remove debris from the fuel injectors. The car is always clean improving aerodynamic progress. I have timed the 0 - 60 at 9.3 seconds, and this shaves a couple of seconds off the standard time. Hope this answers your question.

 

ohhh, if only I could be bothered to register :D

 

what a brillaint guy, see ya at the lights son :D

 

his email address is in his profile, someone email him and invite him here ;)

 

Hilarious indeed - why did the Mods lock it as soon as he started to cry? It could have been a much lengthier piece of class entertainment

 

The weight thing is pure class - this guy could make millions with his weight disappearing act - NASA has already been on the phone looking for the man.

 

What a prize TW4T!! - lets try and get him onto this forum and come up with some more voodoo physics.....yum yum

 

what a post, give this man a medal :D

[Blinky16v 0]

Well bugger me, there really are people out there with no brain and are happy to advertise it on the internet.. this guy is clearly an oxygen theif and should drive his corsa off a cliff. Maybe if he reclines the front seats as well he'll fly....

[randal 0]

Another nugget of wonder from our beloved car critic/physics despot...

 

"In general the car does not have a personality."

 

How a man that drives a faux-badged gold corsa is allowed to define "personality" I will never know. :roll:

[Guest]

he does seem to have swallowed a dictionary since since last ill-fated thread