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CTWG60

Wot Not To Do...

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Mine So far are:-

 

Don't hit your PAS pump with a lump hammer to loosen the belt. Look for that pesky 3rd bolt. :oops: (Fixed with replacement for £25 off ebay :) )

 

Don't Fit a FMIC&65mm pulley & do 150mph without first checking that your head gasket is good and it might help if it were a metal one! :mad: (Replaced) 8)

 

Don't fire up your car after fitting an exhaust manifold that runs too close to your steering column UJ Boot. It will burn a hole in it! :cry: (Replaced and Alu Heatshielded)

 

Don't let someone set your timing at 2000rpm without fixing UJ boot clearance issue. As the grease inside will catch fire and knock out your LCDs and Rev Counter. :shock: Nice! (Clocks dismantled and cleaned Ok now) :wink:

 

Don't try to drive fast, monitor speed and oil temp with a dodgy rear brake bias and low tread rear tyres. Skiding backwards in the opposite lane waiting for the impact is not much fun. :roll: (Definatley Fixed) :?

 

Don't rely on F**kwit mechanics to replace bias valve and bleed the rears correctly :x (Did it myself in 1/2 an hour after picking it up) 8)

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It's the only way to learn..... :-)

 

Don't run turbo oil feed, no matter how sturdy looking, over the turbine housing..... it will melt and catch fire :lol:......which leads onto ..... DO carry a fire extinguisher!

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That happened to my Brother-In-Law. He tried to do the decent thing but ended up throttling it to death like some sort of crazed serial deer killer. F**ked-Up.

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That happened to my Brother-In-Law. He tried to do the descent thing but ended up throttling it to death like some sort of crazed serial deer killer. F**ked-Up.

 

haha i can't imagine throttling a dear is all that easy! did he start out with gentle pressure, trying to be humane, and end up with it in a wrestling style choke-hold while shouting profanities?

 

my little list:

Don't spend a fortune sorting you car out so its uber reliable, looks new and drives perfectly... then sell it

Don't ever, ever, EVER park the car on any kind of incline without leaving it in gear 'just in case'. :(

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No, not easy. I think his words were "They're bl**dy strong you know and there fur is really oily!" I think he wanted to put it out of it's misery. Sent his wife 400yds up the road to there house with the children. And then realised he had nothing to do the job other than his bare hands. But this is nothing until you here the story of my other B-I-Law who lives in rural france. He thought he would save on the vets bill and neck a sick chicken but ended up axe murdering it in one of the out buildings. He can't even talk about it a year later he's so traumertised.

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Lol excellent post.....

 

Don't stand there all proud with yourself and start the engine and wonder why you have low oil pressure. Then say shit the charger feed line is'nt on. :lol:

 

Also don't sit there all proud with yourself after fitting a new VR6 clutch kit and rebuilt transmission. Reach for the cigs and cup O T and wonder why your new release nearing is sat next to your cup O T alongside your old release bearing :oops: :lol:

 

Ahh that was a not funny moment.

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OMG I did a gearbox and clutch a couple of weeks ago and it was a b***ard. I can't imagine the feeling of realising you forgot to fit the CRB. What a nightmare :shocked!:

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For future deer fun, use your handy wheel brace in the boot. I know someone who strangled a fox. And got bitten lots in the process.

 

Don't ever buy bits to make your car work better or look nicer. Your car will know and will break itself to the value of 1.5 x the amount you just spent, just to teach you a lesson.

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That happened to my Brother-In-Law. He tried to do the decent thing but ended up throttling it to death like some sort of crazed serial deer killer. F**ked-Up.

:lol: All I can think of is that scene in Me, Myself and Irene where Jim Carrey is trying to put that cow out of its misery.

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Don't ever assume that anything is going to be a quick 5 minute job.

 

Stick a hosepipe in the scuttle to test for leaks around the heater intake if you think it is already leaking..

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Don't show a two year old how to drive a car. The minute your back is turned they get in the drivers seat and expect that they will be able to drive.

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Don't do any owrk on your corrado just for the sake of it, especially if you need to go somewhere or do something later that day. The job will be awkward, you will spend more money than you think and it will make you late or miss whatever it was you were supposed to do.

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Don't try and take the sunroof out on your own. Then attempt to put it back in, on your own.

 

Seriously.

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Always check the engine bay THOROUGHLY before shutting the bonnet- in the past I've forgotten to put the expansion tank cap back on (twice!) and also managed to smash a brand new Clifford keyfob into tiny pieces when I left it on the slam panel :roll: :oops:

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You will also, with C ownership, be on first name turns with your local garage mechanics, parts supplier, within the first six months of buying one.

 

Who will also pull out a holiday brochure and begin rubbing hands together as they recognise your voice on the phone or as you pull up to the garage/shop.

 

:roll:

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Don't show a two year old how to drive a car. The minute your back is turned they get in the drivers seat and expect that they will be able to drive.

 

Then they cry when you remove them for the drivers seat and tell them they are not old enough.

 

Don't ever buy bits to make your car work better or look nicer. Your car will know and will break itself to the value of 1.5 x the amount you just spent, just to teach you a lesson.

 

i'll 2nd both of them too!

 

great thread! :lol:

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Don't drive a VR Corrado like 1.2 Corsa, particularly when it has 12yr old saggy suspension at the front and brand new bouncy stuff at the rear.

 

Don't use wooden objects to slow you down.

 

Don't assume someone is insured just because they've given you their details - make sure you see the insurance certificate.

 

Most importantly - don't assume that there's ever going to be an end to your 'wanted mods' list :D

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Do modify your 4 branch manifold so that the final diameter is bigger and then place in a Ilok Race Spec flexi joint after it to improve flow but..............

 

Don't forget to put in a joint in between so that when your gear change cables break you can get the shifter box out to replace them1!!!!!!

 

Cutting through the thick high grade stainless was NOT easy and did take a long time and wreck alot of blades on the air saw!

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