Johnny H 0 Posted November 24, 2012 I've got a great joke about herbs and fish, but this isn't the thyme or the place Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
kevin_m 0 Posted November 26, 2012 A horse walks into a bar, the barman asks, "why such a long face?" the horse says, "I've got Aids" Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
BILLCOR 1 Posted January 5, 2013 Spotted this on Facebook :grin: Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Peebee 0 Posted January 12, 2013 I've seen that on a tshirt but it finished with C#+t lol Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Nuts 10 Posted January 12, 2013 I went to the doctors the other day, saw my neighbour in the waiting room and he asks me "what are you here for?" To which I reply "I have a problem with my penis." Embarrassed my neighbour quickly retreats to the opposite side of the room, the waiting room full of people all fall silent with equal shock. Overhearing the receptionist comes over and says "please don't tell people about personal matters like that, if anyone asks why don't you make something up so you don't create unnecessary embarrassment and uneasiness?" Taking on board what she said I settled down to reading the paper..... A few moments later in walks my cousin. " how do mate, what brings you here?" He asks me. "I've got a problem with my knee." I reply. "What's up with it?" My cousin asks. "I can't pee from it." Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
BILLCOR 1 Posted January 16, 2013 Just had my tea at Tescos' cafe. The waitress asked me if i wanted anything on my burger... I said "ok i'll have a fiver each way". Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
GlosterOx 0 Posted January 17, 2013 Tesco's have decided to accept HMV gift Cards/Vouchers - The staff are confused as they thought it stood for "Horse Meat Vouchers". Ian. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
VR-Sixy 0 Posted January 17, 2013 I've just seen Black Hawk Down in 3D. It was brilliant. Who needs HMV or Blockbusters when you live in Vauxhall? Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Wullie 1 Posted February 12, 2013 Just heard fish fingers have been withdrawn from sale. Tests found traces of sea horse DNA. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Grim1 1 Posted February 12, 2013 Much admiration for my friend, she's a blind prostitute....... You gotta hand it to her Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Swompy 0 Posted February 12, 2013 I would just like to congratulate Whitney Huston, One year sober Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
dragon green 5 Posted February 28, 2013 I was at a Star Wars convention in my Darth Vader costume. One particularly annoying geek was following me around everywhere, taking my photo. So I pushed him away; Then he started pulling my cloak. I pushed him away again; Then he tried to grab my lightsabre. And that's when the Sith hit the fan! Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
bristolbaron 10 Posted March 7, 2013 NSFW due to ramseys language! Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
clumpy1 11 Posted March 7, 2013 That's quality baz :thumbleft: i am actually crying at the minute Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
corrado_sunderland 0 Posted March 9, 2013 :rofl: best one so far Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Wullie 1 Posted March 10, 2013 Hey Sunderland. Wondered where you'd been. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
corrado_sunderland 0 Posted March 12, 2013 Hey Sunderland. Wondered where you'd been. Ive been lying low a while/pretending im still 21 and going out on student nights so ive been too ill to make it to the pc :lol: hows the wulliemeister then? And while im here.... Q: What do toys and boobs have in common?*A: They were both originally made for kids, but dad ends up playing with them! Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Wullie 1 Posted March 22, 2013 A pub landlord is shutting up for the night when there is a knock at the door. When he answers, a Tramp asks him for a tooth-pick. He gives him the toothpick and the tramp goes off. A few minutes later there is a second knock. When he answers, there is a second Tramp who also asks for a toothpick. He gets his toothpic...k and off he goes. ... There is a third knock at the door, and a third Tramp. The landlord says, "Don't tell me, you want a toothpick too." "No, a straw," says the Tramp. The landlord gives him a straw but is curious as to why he wants it, so he asks the Tramp why he wants a straw and not a toothpick. To which the Tramp replies, "Some bloke just threw up outside but all the good stuff's gone already". Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
BILLCOR 1 Posted March 28, 2013 (edited) Spotted this on Facebook, unfortunatly you have to click on the image to take part..epic fail Edited March 28, 2013 by BILLCOR Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
red arrow 0 Posted March 28, 2013 Spotted this on Facebook, unfortunatly you have to click on the image to take part..epic fail Couldnt see the thumbnail !LOL Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
VR-Sixy 0 Posted April 6, 2013 Just been down the bookies to place a bet on The Grand National. Got geat odds of 60/1 on the Findus Lasagne. :) Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
BILLCOR 1 Posted April 8, 2013 A little girl asks her mum, 'Mum, can I take the dog for a walk around the block?' Her mum replies 'No, because she is on heat.' 'What does that mean?' asked the child. 'Go and ask your father. I think he's in the garage.' The little girl goes out to the garage and says, 'Dad, can I take Lulu for a walk around the block? I asked Mum, but she said the dog was on the heat, and to come ask you.' He took a rag, soaked it in petrol, and scrubbed the dog's backside with it to disguise the scent, and said 'Ok, you can go now, but keep Lulu on the leash and only go one time around the block.' The little girl left and returned a few minutes later with no dog on the leash.. Surprised, Dad asked, 'Where's Lulu?' The little replies.......oh Lulu ran out of petrol so another dog is pushing her home Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
bristolbaron 10 Posted April 8, 2013 subcool - I hope you're banned. This is the reason other forums end up locking 'joke' threads. Racism is not a joke. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
clumpy1 11 Posted April 8, 2013 subcool - I hope you're banned. This is the reason other forums end up locking 'joke' threads. Racism is not a joke. Have to agree with the baron here not funny you are :censored: you certainly deserve to be banned. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
